Commentary:
If only those energy vampires could multitask, I'd have a six-pack by now! 😂🧛♀️💪
139 Funny humor quote quotes
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate long-term relationship goal: professional annoyance specialist 😂❤️
I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.
Commentary:
Just arrived at my destination: The Point. GPS signals lost, send snacks! 😄📍🍕
Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!
Commentary:
Hannah's name game: double or nothing! 😂✨📚
There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.
Commentary:
Who needs a diary when you can overshare online and get that sweet, sweet validation? 📓🤳😁
I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.
Commentary:
Trying to figure out planet Earth like it's a level 100 escape room! 🌍🧐🚀
Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?
Commentary:
Crow women: masters of shiny object collection and perfecting the art of dramatic caw-versation! 🪶😂
I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the ninja skill of sleep-standing! ☕️😴🧘♂️
There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.
Commentary:
"I guess opposites really do attract… and then spend every family gathering trying to sync their calendars! 😂🗓️❤️"
I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.
Commentary:
Sounds like a solid plan. I’d only walk 500 steps and then demand a snack break 🍕🚶♂️😅