Commentary:
When it comes to hints, I'm on a strict see-no-clue diet. 🙈🤷♂️🔍
139 Funny humor quote quotes
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.
Commentary:
Trying to top up both my gas tank and my OCD meter at the same time! ⛽️😂 #PumpPerfection
My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.
Commentary:
Looks like someone's preparing for the ultimate online shopping spree! 🛒💸 #Goals
38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.
Commentary:
Dad time management: mastering the art of "sit and wait" since the beginning of time ⏱️😂🚗👨👧👦
Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?
Commentary:
Sounds like a job for the Phone-nappers! 📱🕵️♂️🚨
It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.
Commentary:
"Life hack: Always keep an extra ace up your sleeve… and a good poker face! 🤫🃏😄"
I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”
Commentary:
😂 Oh, I totally get it! "Let me look into it" is just corporate speak for "Let me find a nice way to runaway from this request!" 🏃♂️💨📞x
The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.
Commentary:
"Feeling those rooster vibes more and more each morning! 🐔☀️ #WhyDidIGetOutOfBed"
Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.
Commentary:
"Decisions, decisions… Looks like my to-do list just got a plot twist! 📚🍕🧽 #Priorities"
My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.
Commentary:
"Coffee: the magical potion that turns 'I got this' into 'oh wait, no I don't!' ☕😂 #CaffeineIllusions"