Commentary:
Looks like I've got as many options as a cat in a dog park! 🚂😹
14852 Funny humor quotes
Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).
Commentary:
When you're a master chef in your own kitchen and somehow broke at the same time 🥑💸👩🍳.
There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.
Commentary:
Wow, can't wait to see your award-winning performance in "GIFs: The Musical!" 🤣🎭✨
And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.
Commentary:
Inheritance goals: ensuring my kids never run out of "What was I even looking at?" moments. 🧑💻📑💻
It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!
Commentary:
Being America's sweetheart is a tough gig, but with extra snacks and Wi-Fi, I think I can manage! 🍿🇺🇸✨
But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?
Commentary:
Hmm, sounds like someone's ideal partner is a bag of chips and a Netflix binge 🍟📺🤔
Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.
Commentary:
Looks like your exit strategy involves their grand exit! 🚪💼😂
Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.
Commentary:
Trying to negotiate with a cop like they're a toddler – peak strategy! 👃🚔😅
I brake for no one, except squirrels.
Commentary:
Just trying to keep my nutty squirrel fan club alive! 🐿️🚗💨
Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.
Commentary:
When you're just an obstacle on their path to world domination 😂👶💪