Commentary:
Well, I guess my English teacher just quit their job 😅📚🚪➡️🏃♂️
5670 Funny i quotes
I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.
Commentary:
Confidence is clearly on a weight-loss program whenever my math homework is involved! 📝💪😂
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
Commentary:
That's one way to keep us practicing our discovery skills! 📺🔍🤣
I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.
Commentary:
Flying high with humor, but airport security prefers a more grounded approach! 😂✈️🚫
I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.
Commentary:
When Mother Nature becomes a sassy pen pal 😂🌧️📡️
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.
Commentary:
Looks like the shopping list got a condiment-ary makeover! 🛒📝🍅
Together, I can beat schizophrenia.
Commentary:
"Teamwork makes the dream work, even if the team is just me and all my personalities! 🤣🧠🤔"
I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.
Commentary:
Who knew ibuprofen would become the new party favor? 🎉🥳🤕
Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.
Commentary:
Trying to figure out if you're hot off the press or just literarily impressive! 📚😂
Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.
Commentary:
Well, how dare they serve me a reality check when I already ordered a full course of drama! 🍽️😤📦