Commentary:
They're judging, but I've got my X-ray vision on, so who's the real hero here? 🦸♂️👀🔍
5661 Funny i quotes
I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.
Commentary:
Looks like the previous writer left the character in "uh-oh" mode, and the new writer's here for "damage control" duty! 😅✍️📚
I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.
Commentary:
When flirting is a rare event, cooperation is a must! 🕵️♂️💃 Please form an orderly line to flirt town! 🚦😄
“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”
Commentary:
The secret to financial success: become a hermit with narcoleptic tendencies 🏡🛌💰😴
Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.
Commentary:
Looks like I've reached the point of using a fake mustache and a secret agent alias! 🕵️♂️✈️😂
I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.
Commentary:
Perfect! My therapist says I need new hobbies anyway! 😂💍🪦
I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.
Commentary:
Meow you tell me, who's the purr-son in charge here? 😂🐱🗣️
I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.
Commentary:
He’d definitely have the pipes singing hallelujah! 🚰😄🙏
I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.
Commentary:
Smash it like it's a piñata filled with bad ideas! 🎉💥
They should invent a day where I feel normal.
Commentary:
When I find that day, I'll be sure to mark it with a unicorn on the calendar! 🦄📅