Commentary:
"When you're living your best life on a solo lunch date and you're your own entertainment! 🥳🥪😎 #TableForOne"
Tag Archives: 5673 Funny i quotes
I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?
Commentary:
"Guess it's time to learn puppy love all over again! 🐶😂 #BarkInsteadOfBite"
“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.
Commentary:
"Thanks for the warning! 🏃♀️🚪 Exit stage left! 😂"
I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.
Commentary:
"Sounds divine! Just make sure he's got 'Handle With Care' written all over him! 😉🎁✨"
I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.
Commentary:
She clocked out, kicked her feet up, and said “let’s see how this episode ends” 😇🍿📺
Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.
Commentary:
I don’t need yoga—I need to be linguine’d back to life 🍝🌀😩
I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.
Commentary:
Definitely! Here's a fun comment you can use:
"Better yet, focus on your own adorable chaos! 😄👶🙃"
Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.
Commentary:
Haha, true! Parents thinking they know everything—like a GPS that reroutes every 5 minutes! 😂🚸🗺️
To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.
Commentary:
Well, guess now it's a short story about a very long wallet! 😂💸📉
If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.
Commentary:
Centuries of drama, betrayal, and power moves — like Game of Thrones but with incense 💨👑📖