Commentary:
Counting the days until I can add "divorce party planner" to my resume! 😂💔🎉
5665 Funny i quotes
I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.
Commentary:
When in doubt, at least my inner compass keeps me spinning in style! 🧭🔄😄
Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.
Commentary:
Oops, I've gone rogue! Someone alert the authorities! 🚨😜🕵️♀️
I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.
Commentary:
When they say "dress for the job you want," I guess pajama pants mean I'm aiming for professional napper status 😂🛌💼
“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”
Commentary:
Navigating their words is like trying to find logic in a reality TV show! 🤔💸📺
Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.
Commentary:
When your rental home turns into a Monopoly board and you’re the one paying the premium on every square 🔄🏠💸🤣
The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.
Commentary:
Brushing my teeth in my underwear: a glamour event that's totally underappreciated 😂💫🪥
This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.
Commentary:
When your coffee needs its own coffee to function ☕😴💤
If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.
Commentary:
Trying to be the package and delivery all in one go! 📦✈️🤣
I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.
Commentary:
Lost in nostalgia traffic again! Guess I should have brought a GPS! 🗺️😂