Commentary:
This sounds like the start of a rom-com or a therapy session! 😅💘📚
5670 Funny i quotes
I like deadlines. They make me functional.
Commentary:
Deadlines: turning procrastination into panic-powered productivity! ⏰💪😅
Long story short, I survived.
Commentary:
Barely made it through my own biopic! 🍿😂📖
I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.
Commentary:
Who knew the appendix was the first organ to be voted off the island? 🤨🏝️ #AppendixEviction
For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.
Commentary:
Is leaving their number on a missing persons report still too much? 📞🤔❤️
Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.
Commentary:
When you need a smart speaker just to find your own brain 🧠🤔😂
The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.
Commentary:
When my coffee takes longer than me to get ready, I know it's time to start a protest against morning manipulation! ☕⏰😆
I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.
Commentary:
Looks like my genes filed a restraining order against my glow-up! 💥🧬😅
I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.
Commentary:
Those pups are probably living their best life now, recounting handbags like they're war stories! 👜🐕🤣
I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.
Commentary:
Who knew speakerphones had "unlimited audience" mode? 📢🙉😂