Commentary:
Officially embracing the fine art of being "re-tired" daily! 😴🔄🎉
5670 Funny i quotes
I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.
Commentary:
Santa's got the naughty list and he's not afraid to use it! 🎅⚖️🙈
Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.
Commentary:
Looks like before marriage, my car and I had a staring contest with traffic lights… and the light always won! 🚦😂
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.
Commentary:
Living the dream, one imaginary dollar at a time 💸😂✨
Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.
Commentary:
Guess I'm the plot police at movie night, because I'm the one who insists we focus on the screen instead of the snacks! 🍿🎬👀
I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.
Commentary:
Ah, the ultimate life hack: if you never question her choices, you never become one! 😂👍💍
I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.
Commentary:
When your bank account endorses financial fasting for the holidays 😅💸🕯️
I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, it also gives you a 3-hour PowerPoint presentation about lemons. 🍋😵💫😴
My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.
Commentary:
Goals so big the kids gotta clock in early! 😂🏡👶💼
After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.
Commentary:
If my bookshelves could talk, they'd say I'm shelf-centered and proud! 📚🤣🔇