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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Spotted on Pinterest:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Trending via TikTok:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Live now on WeChat:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Shared recently on Instagram:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Breaking via Twitch:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Just landed via WeChat:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Spotted on YouTube:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Shared recently on Discord:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Making waves on Facebook:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

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