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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Breaking via Telegram:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Just shared via Snapchat:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Spotted on Reddit:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Live now on WeChat:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Trending via Discord:

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Just shared via Messenger:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Spotted on Discord:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

36 Funny interest quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

14 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Live now on Facebook:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Trending via Twitch:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I need an app that deletes my number from other people’s phones.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

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