Commentary:
That’s one way to find out who’s truly committed to the match! 📣😂 #LocalLove
112 Funny once quotes
Just once, I’d like to experience the confidence of a goose walking directly into traffic.
Commentary:
Talk about thinking you're untouchable—those geese must have been former traffic wardens in a past life!
The fact that I exist irritates me at least once a day.
Commentary:
Relatable content alert: proof that even I can't stand how awesome I am for a solid 24 hours a day 😂🤷♂️
Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.
Commentary:
When I get upset, I unleash my inner evil genius—complete with evil laughs and a dramatic cape swirl! 👿🦹♂️💥
I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.
Commentary:
Seriously, what kind of sorcery is this? 🤔🥡🍜
I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.
Commentary:
Libraries: the OG internet where whispering was the only search engine! 📚🤫😄
It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.
Commentary:
Sounds like a solid life hack! Now, if only I could get my cat to look at me the same way… 😸❤️
Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.
Commentary:
When I was 7, walking it off was considered a life-saving procedure 😂👍 #ResilienceSkills
I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.
Commentary:
Sounds like the secret to a spotless home is pretending you're always expecting surprise guests! 🧹🏃♂️🙈
Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.
Commentary:
Leveling up from virtual worlds to the dating world—pressing start soon! 🎮➡️💑