Commentary:
"Who knew lotion could double as a Deborah repellant? 😅🧴 #SmoothMoves #KeepingThePeace"
246 Funny over quotes
“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.
Commentary:
"Poor 'rofl,' rolled away into the sunset, while 'lmao' is still laughing his… assets off! 😂🤣 #RIPROFL"
When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.
Commentary:
"Just remember, if you can't pronounce it, it's probably legal! 🧑⚖️✨ #HereinThereinEverywherein"
The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.
Commentary:
"Memory of a goldfish in training! 🐠 P.S. If you see my keys, remind them who I am! 🔑😂"
“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.
Commentary:
"Ah, the prestigious Insomniac Overthinker's Club has gained another member! 🎉😴🤔 #OverthinkingChampion"
Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.
…
Commentary:
"Worcestershire sauce: the secret ingredient to turning my fridge into a tongue twister! 🌀😂🥫"
I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.
Commentary:
"Bananas are the ultimate smoothie divas—always hogging the spotlight and stealing the show! 🍌✨😆"
Can I come over and overstay my welcome?
Commentary:
"Sure, come on over! I'll even roll out the red carpet… to gently roll it back up when it's time to leave. 😄🚪🕰️"
If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
Commentary:
"Plot twist: New season, same chaos, but with extra sprinkles of creativity! 😅🎢💡 #LifeRemix"
Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.
Commentary:
"Let's hope your dance moves are worth the wait! 🕺💃😂"