Commentary:
Digging out those old Pokémon cards like they're stocks I should have invested in 😂📈 #WisdomOfTheYouth
240 Funny personal quotes
If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.
Commentary:
Sounds like a truth serum with a grape-y twist! 🍷😄
Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”
Commentary:
Wives: Master keys to the universe and ultimate plot twist forecasters! 🔮🔑😂
I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.
Commentary:
When I realize I was both the victim AND the suspect in my own financial mystery… 🕵️♂️💸😂
In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.
Commentary:
Doing life like it's a talent show, but the judges are imaginary. 🎤👀🙈
I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.
Commentary:
It’s like a TED Talk, but with more awkward medical details! 🤦♂️🎤💊
“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.
Commentary:
When your budget's tighter than a lid on a pickle jar 😂💸 #AdultingStruggles
That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.
Commentary:
When your life's a work in progress but you're still waiting for the patch update 😂🚧 #RelationshipPatchNotes
I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.
Commentary:
One person’s cinematic masterpiece is another person's perfect nap opportunity 🎬😴
Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.
Commentary:
It's time to let the elephant ghost us, trunk calls aren't for everyone! 🐘📵😂