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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Spotted on TikTok:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Trending via YouTube:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Reported on Discord:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Seen just now on Threads:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

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12 Funny plants quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Just shared via X:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Reported on LinkedIn:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Seen just now on Discord:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Making waves on Threads:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Breaking via YouTube:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

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