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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Trending via Telegram:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Live now on X:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Spotted on TikTok:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Going bananas on Facebook:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Live now on Twitch:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Making waves on Discord:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Funny pro-tip quotes

Funny pro-tip quotes are the perfect blend of wisdom and wit 🤓✨, turning everyday advice into laughs 😂💡. Whether you need a clever twist on life hacks or just a chuckle to brighten your day, these gems deliver 😜🔥. Get ready to smile, learn, and share some seriously clever tips that don’t take themselves too seriously 🎉🙌!

New funny pro-tip quotes 👇

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

2 weeks ago

company, every, finance, food, humor, invest, pasta, penne, pro, pro-tip, tip, worth
Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

3 weeks ago

activity, advice, angel, dog, dog park, fun, funny advice, humor, never, outdoor, outdoor activity, park, pet, pet humor, pro, pro-tip, snow, snow angel, tip, winter, winter fun
Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

3 weeks ago

advice, bang, headache, humor, injury, pain, pro-tip, something, toe
Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

3 weeks ago

anything, data, data sale, data tracking, email, email spam, internet, internet security, know, middle, middle name, name, online, online signup, privacy, pro, pro-tip, put, sale, security, sign, signup, sold, spam, tip, tracking, website, website name, websites
Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

3 weeks ago

advice, avoid, break, couple, days, fun, news, pro, pro-tip, relaxation, tip

All funny pro-tip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Messenger this month:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

23 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

16 shares on X this month:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Making waves on X:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Making waves on Discord:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Spotted on YouTube:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Spotted on Threads:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Going viral on Threads:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Going viral on Twitch:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

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