Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Going viral on Threads:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Spotted on WeChat:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Trending via Telegram:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Going bananas on Slack:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Live now on TikTok:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Trending via Messenger:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Just shared via Instagram:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Funny remote control quotes

Funny remote control quotes bring a hilarious twist to our everyday gadget battles 🎮😂 Whether it’s the ultimate power struggle for the couch throne or the mysterious vanishing of the remote, these witty lines capture the fun chaos of TV time 📺✨ Get ready to laugh out loud and relate to all those remote control moments that make family nights unforgettable! 🙌🔥

New funny remote control quotes 👇

All funny remote control quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Breaking via YouTube:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Trending via Reddit:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Making waves on Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Going viral on Telegram:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Just landed via TikTok:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Going viral on Telegram:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

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