Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Just shared via Slack:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Just landed via Snapchat:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Shared recently on X:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Seen just now on X:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Trending via X:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

46 Funny rich quotes

More funny rich quotes 👇

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

1 month ago

am, aspiration, being, financial, humor, i, irony, joke, money, need, rich, step, wealth
I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

1 month ago

aspiration, back, bra, concert, fame, humor, i, just, onstage, performance, rich, run
Just another day of not being hot and rich.

1 month ago

aspiration, being, day, hot, humor, just, reality, rich, self-deprecation
I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

1 month ago

aspiration, beef, beef jerky, food, humor, i, jerky, luxury, money, offended, price, rich, want, wealth
I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

1 month ago

ambition, getting, humor, i, just, money, pretend, rich, sarcasm, stop, want, work
And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

1 month ago

disappointment, expectation, getting, humor, me, money, rich, unexpectedly, week
I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

1 month ago

goals, house, humor, i, kill, life, life goals, luxury, rich, spider, want, wealth
There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

1 month ago

anonymous, anonymous gift, charity, gift, gift giving, give, giving, know, money, people, person, philanthropy, post, rich, rich person, should, website, where, wish, wishes
Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

1 month ago

happiness, humor, i, just, life, love, rich, skip, thinking, where, wishful, wishful thinking
I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

1 month ago

broke, contrast, eat, food, humor, i, lifestyle, money, rich, travel

For even more funny rich quotes, hit next 👇

All funny rich quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

66 shares on X this month:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

68 shares on Discord this month:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

13 shares on Threads this month:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

68 shares on Slack this month:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Going viral on Messenger:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Going bananas on Discord:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Activity Log ✨

46 Funny rich quotes

More funny rich quotes 👇

All funny rich quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨