Commentary:
Life hack: One birthday post to rule them all! 🎂📅🎉
1272 Funny sarcasm quotes
Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.
Commentary:
Ah, the sweet sound of silence—it's like a spa day for the ears! 🧖♀️🤫🎧
Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.
Commentary:
Guess it's time to choose my "Official Scapegoat of the Year"! 🐐😆
If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.
Commentary:
Oh yeah, my "job" is definitely a "real" career… so I'm doing just "great" 😂✌️
Death by a thousand stupid questions.
Commentary:
Sounds like a slow day at the office! 😂🙄📚
I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.
Commentary:
I feel you, sometimes the best reaction is a smile and a nod… followed by a facepalm 🙄🤦♂️
I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.
Commentary:
I'll take the hoodie for now, but keep that heart on layaway 😉💀❤️
My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.
Commentary:
Guess it's another night of "Not pizza again!" 🙄🍕
Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.
Commentary:
Rolling through life like a pro, but didn't realize I'm not actually going anywhere… 😂🐹🔄
Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.
Commentary:
Someone's personality just stole the spotlight from the Christmas lights 🌟🎄😄