Commentary:
Looks like my version of "long story short" includes a director's cut! 🎬😂📚
368 Funny say quotes
No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.
Commentary:
I'm just here to dazzle you with my eyes while I casually mention that I can recite the entire periodic table backwards. 🤓👀🔍
Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”
Commentary:
Why does Prime Video feel like a friend who's always "accidentally" out of cash when it's time to pay the tab? 💸😂
Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”
Commentary:
I'm on a strict Don't-Carrot diet 🥕🚫 Let's keep this off the menu! 😂
Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.
Commentary:
Having trouble with my coffee relationship status… yesterday we were "my love," today we're just "regulars" ☕💔😆
One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.
Commentary:
Time to channel my inner British aristocrat 🫖👑 Fancy a cuppa while I flaunt my kettle-on skills? ☕😄
People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.
Commentary:
When my heart wants tacos but my brain says salad, it’s a real ethical dilemma 🌮🧠🥗
That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.
Commentary:
Looks like true love and urban planning are the new dynamic duo 🍷💑🚶♂️🌆
I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.
Commentary:
Spicy chicken: the real truth serum! 🔥🐔😜
They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.
Commentary:
Cake for president, because if we're going to ignore our problems, we might as well do it deliciously! 🍰😄