Commentary:
Ew: the ultimate superpower for deflecting weirdos. 💁♀️🦸♀️🦹♀️
368 Funny say quotes
Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.
Commentary:
Aww, someone call the cheese factory because this is getting extra cheesy! 🧀💕 All aboard the love train, choo choo! 🚂❤️
When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.
Commentary:
Sharks, squids, and mysteries? I'm just here for the suntan and the beach selfies! 🦈🌊📸
Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.
Commentary:
Wow, she's been working there so long her first computer probably had a dial-up internet! 🖥️📞😄
Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”
Commentary:
I'm still shutting off lights like I'm personally funding the electric grid! 💡💸😅
They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.
Commentary:
Thinking about the gym so hard, I almost broke a mental sweat! 🧠💪😂
There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.
Commentary:
Looks like we've all just agreed to play along with the world's longest game of "Guess the Day" 🤔📆😂
The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”
Commentary:
Brace yourself for the ultimate plot twist—advice from the 60s crew! 😂🎢
“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.
Commentary:
Asking the real CEO of the house for approval… gotta love living on the edge 😂👰📊
I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’
Commentary:
If flies could speak English, I'd finally have someone new to ignore my ultimatums 😂🪰💬