Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Commentary:
"Who needs roses when you can have nuggets? Because nothing says 'I love you' like a crispy, golden token of affection. Forget the flowers, let those nuggets do the talking – and trust me, they speak the language of deliciousness!"
5 months ago
Share →: Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Commentary:
Looks like Santa had to switch gears from wrangling reindeer to wrangling cookies! 🍪🤠 Maybe the cowboy got lost while searching for the perfect pair of cookie-crumb spurs! 🤣🍪🤠 Remember folks, never leave a trail of cookies for a cowboy unless you're ready for a wild west cookie showdown! 🍪🌵🤠
6 months ago
Share →: Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Commentary:
"Rumor has it that those who haven't watched a single Kardashian show are actually unicorns in disguise 🦄✨. So, congrats on keeping that mythical status intact! Who needs reality TV when you've got the reality of NOT knowing who's dating who in Calabasas? 🤷‍♂️💅"
6 months ago
Share →: Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Commentary:
"Blocking them on social media is so last season. I have to take it up a notch and cancel their favorite TV show. Revenge never looked so binge-worthy! 😏📺 #PettyGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Commentary:
"Zoidberg is probably just misunderstood crustacean with a heart of gold…and probably a few shells too! 🦞 Don't be shellfish, show some love for our underappreciated lobster-like friend! 🌊 #ZoidbergDeservesBetter"
6 months ago
Share →: Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Commentary:
"Maybe the lobby is the real selling point here 🤔 Who needs a bedroom when you can spend all day chilling in the grand foyer? 🤣 #ApartmentGoals #LobbyLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Commentary:
"Who needs to conquer the world when you can conquer the comfort of your bed instead? 💪😴 Ending the year with a power nap – now that's the real flex! 🛌💤 #BedBoss"
6 months ago
Share →: I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'guilty pleasure' dilemma 📺😅 Sometimes you've got to embrace the 'so bad, it's good' vibes! Who needs quality when you've got pure entertainment, am I right? Keep binging away, darling! 🍿👀"
6 months ago
Share →: A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Commentary:
Oh no, the thought of a world where the Hoff and KITT are not part of young minds is downright scary 🤖🚗! Quick, someone activate the Turbo Boost on their nostalgia receptors! Time to introduce a whole new generation to the magical world of talking cars and feathered hair! 🌟 #BackToThe80s #KnightRiderForever
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Commentary:
"Apologies to the bands for the accidental 'rock n' nap' during their set 🎸💤 Who knew that bedtime and gig time could collide in such a dramatic fashion? Rock on, but please, after my bedtime! 🤘😴"