62 Funny show quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, chip companies, we deserve to see what we're getting ourselves into! 😂💸 Transparent bags for transparent snacking, am I right? Let's see those chips in all their glory, no more hiding behind glossy packaging! 💪🥔 #ShowUsTheChips"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old dilemma of determining the seriousness of an event based on the beer prices 🍺💸! Remember, friends, when a beer starts costing as much as a fancy cocktail, you're definitely in for a musical extravaganza, not just a casual night out. Time to raise those pint glasses and let the concert begin! 🎶🍻"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

  Commentary:
  "Watching cooking shows sometimes feels like peeking into a magical fridge where Tardis-like space expansion is standard practice 🧙‍♂️🚪. Next thing you know, Mary Poppins might just pull a full roast turkey out of her clutch purse! 🦃👜 #FridgeEnvy 😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old mystery of disappearing socks! 🧦✨ Apparently, playing a little game of hide-and-seek with your socks is the ultimate trick to summon the missing one. Who knew laundry could be this entertaining? 😄🔍 #LifeHacks101"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magical transformation of wine from 'mommy juice' to 'daddy's little helper' after a day of parenting mayhem 🍷👨‍👩‍👧‍👦💫 #Parenting101 #BottomsUp"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

  Commentary:
  "Aliens: 'We come in peace to overthrow your leaders.' Us: 'Wait, which leaders? We got snacks and drinks ready for this party! 🛸🎉👽 #AlienTakeover'"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

  Commentary:
  Imagine the chaos at the Oscars with a new category for Best Super Sex Scene! 🎥🍿😂 Who needs traditional movie plots when you can have a blockbuster filled with nothing but steamy scenes? Talk about a must-see for date night at the cinema! 🔥💏🎬

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to explain it would be like trying to color a masterpiece with invisible crayons 🖍️. Some ideas are just too 'crayon'-crazy to bother with! 😆"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

  Commentary:
  🤪📚 "Hmm, let's see… Ah, here it is! Page 47, Section 3.5: 'Thou shalt not unleash random weird noises that disturb thy cubicle neighbors.' Looks like you're officially busted! Better start practicing your silent mime routines instead! 😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

  Commentary:
  "When you show someone the year they can retire, it's like forcing them to gaze into the abyss of adulthood and mortality 😱💸💼 Retirement age: the scariest bedtime story ever told!"

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