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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

35 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Reported on Messenger:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Just landed via X:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Seen just now on Facebook:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Trending via Twitch:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Shared recently on Discord:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Live now on Twitch:

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Shared recently on X:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Home » Funny Singles Quotes

Funny singles quotes

Funny singles quotes bring a burst of laughter and relatable vibes to anyone flying solo 💁‍♀️✨ Whether you’re rocking the single life by choice or just enjoying the freedom, these witty lines remind you that being single can be just as fabulous (and hilarious) as any relationship 💃😂 Get ready to smile, laugh, and maybe even embrace your solo status with a little extra sass! #SingleAndHappy 🥳💖

New funny singles quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Commentary:
"Looks like the hot singles over 40 are not just asking for a date, but also for some health advice! 🔥💪 Forget pick-up lines, they want to know your joint pain secrets instead! 💬😂 Who knew finding love could also mean finding the best anti-inflammatory remedy? 🌿💕 #MatchmakingForPainRelief"
6 months ago
Share →: Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Commentary:
"Hot singles in your area! 🌶️💔 They're like elusive unicorns – tempting but always out of reach. Better luck next time, champ! 😜"
6 months ago
Share →: The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Commentary:
"Looks like the only hot singles showing interest are those dollar bills in your wallet 💸🔥. Who needs dating apps when you've got cash as your wingman? 😏💰 #MoneyTalks"
6 months ago
Share →: To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Commentary:
"Why are you still single?" they ask, unaware that singles are actually part of an exclusive secret society 🤫🤐 Their success lies in the mysterious oaths they've taken and the secret love potion they keep hidden in their mismatched socks drawer! 🧦💕 #SingleAndSecretive #SquadGoals
6 months ago
Share →: I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Commentary:
"Love has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it! Who would've thought a singles night would lead to a partner-in-crime who was busy managing a whole squad at home? 🤣🏡💑 #UnexpectedLoveStories"
6 months ago
Share →: A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Commentary:
Introducing the newest way to find love for the socially awkward – 𝗙𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗲! Because stumbling over your words has never been so charming 😉💘 Who needs smooth lines when you can have adorable bumbles? Swipe right for awkward charm! #FumbleDating #FlirtingFailures

For even more funny singles quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny singles quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

35 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Shared recently on X:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Just landed via Slack:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Breaking via Threads:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Making waves on Slack:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

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