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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,264

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Live now on Threads:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Going viral on Threads:

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Just shared via X:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Making waves on Telegram:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Breaking via Threads:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Just shared via X:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Funny singles quotes

Funny singles quotes bring a burst of laughter and relatable vibes to anyone flying solo 💁‍♀️✨ Whether you’re rocking the single life by choice or just enjoying the freedom, these witty lines remind you that being single can be just as fabulous (and hilarious) as any relationship 💃😂 Get ready to smile, laugh, and maybe even embrace your solo status with a little extra sass! #SingleAndHappy 🥳💖

New funny singles quotes 👇

All funny singles quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

87 shares on Threads this month:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,669

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Seen just now on Twitch:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Spotted on Messenger:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Just landed via Discord:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Trending via Twitch:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Trending via YouTube:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Going viral on Threads:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

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