334 Funny someone quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

  Commentary:
  "Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them… and witness the transformation from friendly neighbor to ruthless tycoon 👀💵🏠 #MonopolyRevealsAll"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

  Commentary:
  🤔💍 "So, like, at some point in the future, we might just accidentally start planning a wedding together… NBD, right? 😄👰🤵 #CasualProposal"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, diplomacy at its finest – where a one-way ticket to the fiery pits is disguised as a grand adventure! 🌋✉️ Bon voyage, dear friend! 😉"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

  Commentary:
  "Well, that's one way to fast-track a relationship to 'exit' mode! 🏃‍♂️💨 Who needs a crystal ball when you've already got a clear vision of your future without them? 😂 Better luck next time in the roommate lottery! 🤷‍♀️🔮"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magical transformation of a meal made by someone else! It somehow tastes a million times better with a dash of laziness and a sprinkle of 'not my problem' seasoning. 🍴😂 Bon appétit, the chef is not you tonight!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs Cupid's arrow when you have podcasts as the ultimate love deterrent? 💔😅 Tune in to their episodes and kiss that crush goodbye faster than you can say 'episode binge-watching!' 🎧😏 #LoveLessons #PodcastPower"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

  Commentary:
  "Turning down a slice of pizza?! Now that's just unbrielievable! 🍕 But trusting someone? That's next-level unpredictability, let's hope it's not a pizza-delivery guy! 🤣 #lifechoices"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

  Commentary:
  "Watching someone else navigate the computer like it's a jungle gym instead of a straight path is a true test of patience and a delicate dance of self-restraint… 🙈💻 But hey, variety is the spice of life, right? 😂 #TechStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

  Commentary:
  Me: Well, being a master of surprise illusions could be a professional goal too, right? 🎩✨ Who wouldn't want to perform the disappearing act in style, even during job interviews? 😂🚌 #MagicGoals

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

  Commentary:
  "Putting my phone down is a rare occurrence, like spotting a unicorn or finding matching socks in the laundry. 🦄🧦 If someone actually manages to call me during those fleeting moments, it's practically a miracle! ☎️😂"

For even more funny someone quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny someone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌