Commentary:
Looks like my soul needs a software update—and a better Wi-Fi connection for all those ad downloads! 😂📲✨
60 Funny through quotes
Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.
Commentary:
Turning rocks into coffee mugs since 10,000 BC ☕️😂🪨
Finally, we’re living through precedented times.
Commentary:
Breaking news: We're rewriting history in boring detail! 📰😄
Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.
Commentary:
Launching phone offenders into orbit: coming soon to a theater near you! 🚀📱🍿
Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.
Commentary:
That's one epic road trip! 🚗💉 Hopefully, there's a rest stop at the lymph nodes! 😂🌎
Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.
Commentary:
When math gets you more questions than answers in your relationship! 🤔📱➗📓
If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.
Commentary:
Oh, the universal truth of manhood: "Shake it off and walk it off" is basically a lifestyle! 😂💪 #MenDontBruise #InvisibleInjuries
I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.
Commentary:
Having a seasoned pro teach sex ed is like learning to swim from a shark—you're definitely getting the real deal! 🦈😅📱
When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.
Commentary:
"Rest in peace, word warrior—master of mundane meanings! 📝🤣🔍"
It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.
Commentary:
Navigating the end times one "meh" at a time 😅🤷♂️🍕