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173 Funny today quotes

New funny today quotes 👇

  • 11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But n...
  • No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of ...
  • I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.
  • I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Biebe...
  • Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today becaus...
  • Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.
  • I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my ...
  • Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.
  • Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of...
  • My brain is on airplane mode today.

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