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"Apparently grass has no WiFi, but it sure did refresh my glitchy system 🤷♂️🚀 #StillAwkward"
177 Funny today quotes
Funny today quotes are perfect for those moments when you realize that “today” is just full of unexpected hilarity! 😅📅 Whether it’s the everyday struggles that become laughable or the little surprises that make your day, these quotes remind us that each day is a chance to find humor in the chaos. Here’s to making today as funny as possible! 😂🎉⏳
Trending Funny Today Quotes 🔥
- Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.
- I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.
- Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”
- Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.
- I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.
New funny today quotes 👇
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"Is it possible to file a complaint with the calendar committee? 🤔 This week needs a serious quality check! 📅🤣" -
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"Veggie lasagna: the dish that made me appreciate dessert more than ever! 🍝🤐😂" -
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"When 'I just don't want to' doesn't cut it, I guess we're all going to Plan B: avoid eye contact and pretend we didn't hear it! 🙈🤷♂️😂" -
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😂⏰ "11:00 am: 'The world is my oyster!' 🦪 3:00 pm: 'I'll just stick to Netflix instead.' 🍿📺" -
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"Who needs protein shakes when I've got you giving my heart a workout? 💪❤️😂" -
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"Brace yourselves, world! 🔥 My fabulousness is now in session! 😎✨" -
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"Looks like it's not just Bieber who's sweeping the nation now! 🧹😂 #DustbinBieber #CleaningChartsTopper" -
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"Priorities, people! 🤘🎤 Just warming up for my world tour in the shower! 🚿🎶 #RockStarLife" -
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"Mission accomplished if you get a smile! If they block you… well, at least you're memorable! 😄🚫😂"
Top Funny Today Quotes 🔥
- Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.
- Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.
- Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.
- Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.
- Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.
For even more funny today quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇
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Funny today quotes make everything better — work, Mondays, and even bad weather. 🌧️😄
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