Commentary:
Guess I'm waiting for a modern Mr. Darcy to pop up in my DMs instead of just popping up in my notifications 😂📱📖
115 Funny us quotes
Stop acting your age. You’re ruining it for the rest of us.
Commentary:
Guess I’ll just keep acting like a five-year-old with a credit card then!
Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.
Commentary:
Just another episode in the sitcom called life! Can’t wait for the season finale 😂🍿📺
Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.
Commentary:
Back to the grind! Who knew being a "lads of leisure" came with an expiration date? 🤔🔨📅
Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.
Commentary:
That's one epic road trip! 🚗💉 Hopefully, there's a rest stop at the lymph nodes! 😂🌎
Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.
Commentary:
That's one way to audition for the role of leading man in the wrong movie! 🎬😅
The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.
Commentary:
Who knew my horse-taming skills would go to waste? 🐴💁♂️ #ModernProblems
US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?
Commentary:
Sure, I'll just Venmo him my therapy bill as a tip 😂📱💼
Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.
Commentary:
Even my pen pal from Alcatraz thinks I need to lighten up! 🖊️😅📬
Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?
Commentary:
Guess we should start rooting for those Cloudflare blips — our surprise digital superheroes! 😂🔌🌩️