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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Going viral on TikTok:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Going viral on Messenger:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Just landed via Slack:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

87 Funny wanted quotes

More funny wanted quotes 👇

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

1 month ago

appreciate, appreciation, Bob, Bob Ross, cloud, clouds, fluff, fluffy, humor, i, ross, wanted
“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

1 month ago

healthcare, humor, i, interaction, live, me, medical, medical receptionist, met, never, patient, patient interaction, receptionist, sarcasm, wanted
Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

1 month ago

check, childhood, code, digital, digital life, email, ever, humor, i, life, online, online security, security, technology, verification, verification code, wanted, young
Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

1 month ago

airport, car, caught, company, customer, customer service, frustration, guard, hand, humor, job, me, rental, rental car, rental company, reservation, sarcasm, service, show, sorry, wait, wanted
I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

1 month ago

clothing, dental, dental floss, fashion, floss, hot, humor, i, joke, lingerie, put, red, wanted, wear
I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

1 month ago

attitude, believe, desire, honesty, humor, i, motivation, phrase, truth, want, wanted, willpower
I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

1 month ago

application, employment, exaggerated, exaggeration, humor, i, job, job application, living, motivation, said, wanted, work

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Facebook this month:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Activity Log ✨

87 Funny wanted quotes

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All funny wanted quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨