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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Spotted on WeChat:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Spotted on WeChat:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Just shared via Messenger:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Funny weigh quotes

Funny weigh quotes bring a lighthearted twist to the ups and downs of stepping on the scale 😄⚖️ Whether you’re celebrating progress or laughing off those pesky pounds, these witty lines add humor to the journey 🎉💪 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort as you embrace the lighter side of weight struggles and victories! 😂🎈

New funny weigh quotes 👇

All funny weigh quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

98 shares on Threads this month:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

69 but we both just farting.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

42 shares on Slack this month:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where it all works out.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,420

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Spotted on Twitch:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Live now on Snapchat:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Spotted on Slack:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Just shared via Slack:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Shared recently on X:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

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