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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Dec 12, 2025

3,818

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Going bananas on Reddit:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Just landed via YouTube:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Spotted on Instagram:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Just landed via Facebook:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Home » Funny Weigh Quotes

Funny weigh quotes

Funny weigh quotes bring a lighthearted twist to the ups and downs of stepping on the scale 😄⚖️ Whether you’re celebrating progress or laughing off those pesky pounds, these witty lines add humor to the journey 🎉💪 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort as you embrace the lighter side of weight struggles and victories! 😂🎈

New funny weigh quotes 👇

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

1 month ago
cake, eat, fitness, food, harder, humor, kidnap, safe, safety, stay, weigh, weight
It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

1 month ago
diet, eat, eating, fitness, food, health, humor, i, just, less, simple, simplicity, want, weigh, weight
Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

1 month ago
dental, dental visit, dentist, everyone, hate, humor, irony, try, visit, weigh
I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

4 months ago
business, business decision, cons, decision, decision making, going, human, human interaction, humor, i, interaction, introversion, love, making, people, pros, pros and cons, socializing, used, weigh

All funny weigh quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Dec 12, 2025

3,664

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Seen just now on Threads:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Making waves on Instagram:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Live now on YouTube:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Just landed via TikTok:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Making waves on Pinterest:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Live now on Slack:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

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