116 funny weird quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

May 23, 2026

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

May 23, 2026

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

May 23, 2026

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

May 23, 2026

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

May 22, 2026

Weirdos gonna weird.

May 22, 2026

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

May 22, 2026

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

May 22, 2026

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

May 22, 2026

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

May 22, 2026

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

May 22, 2026

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

May 22, 2026

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

May 21, 2026

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

May 21, 2026

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

May 21, 2026

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

May 21, 2026

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

May 21, 2026

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

May 21, 2026

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

May 21, 2026

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

May 21, 2026

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

May 21, 2026

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

May 21, 2026

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

May 20, 2026

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

May 20, 2026

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

May 20, 2026

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

May 20, 2026

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

May 20, 2026

Staying weird for my own sanity.

May 20, 2026

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

May 20, 2026

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

May 20, 2026

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

May 19, 2026

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

May 19, 2026

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

May 19, 2026

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

May 19, 2026

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

May 19, 2026

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

May 19, 2026