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When you hit send and immediately enroll in a witness protection program 🤦♂️😂📲
116 Funny weird quotes
Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?
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Embracing my inner unicorn because who needs normal anyway? 🦄✨
Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.
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It's amazing how a goofy voice and a furball can turn anyone into Dr. Doolittle on happy pills! 🐶😄🐱
Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.
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Embrace the weirdness—it's a recurring episode in my personal sitcom! 😂🤪🔄
Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.
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🤣 I guess I’ve been channeling my inner "weird uncle" all along! 🧔🕺
I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.
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When the sun clocks out early, but you’re still stuck at work: Goodbye daylight, hello nightlight! 🌆🌙😴
Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?
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Saving up for a penthouse suite in the afterlife, I see! 😈💸✈️
Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.
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Antique chairs: the VIP seats of history's butt party! 🍑🪑😆
I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.
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Turning pain into awkward art one poorly timed joke at a time! 😅🎨
Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?
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Flying: the only time when sitting in a metal tube at 36,000 feet makes you crave a drink you'd never buy on the ground! ✈️🤷♂️🍅