116 funny weird quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

May 26, 2026

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

May 26, 2026

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

May 26, 2026

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

May 26, 2026

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

May 26, 2026

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

May 26, 2026

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

May 26, 2026

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

May 26, 2026

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

May 26, 2026

Being weird never goes out of style.

May 26, 2026

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

May 26, 2026

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

May 25, 2026

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

May 25, 2026

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

May 25, 2026

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

May 25, 2026

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

May 25, 2026

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

May 25, 2026

Life is weird and then you die.

May 25, 2026

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

May 25, 2026

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

May 25, 2026

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

May 25, 2026

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

May 25, 2026

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

May 25, 2026

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

May 24, 2026

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

May 24, 2026

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

May 24, 2026

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

May 24, 2026

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

May 24, 2026

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

May 24, 2026

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

May 24, 2026

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

May 24, 2026

Next to nothing is a weird place.

May 24, 2026

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

May 24, 2026

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

May 23, 2026

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

May 23, 2026

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

May 23, 2026

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

May 23, 2026

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

May 23, 2026

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

May 23, 2026

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

May 23, 2026