Commentary:
"Out of this world and still going unnoticed? 🚀😆 Maybe it's time to phone home and get that hubby a telescope! 🔭👽"
118 Funny wife quotes
My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.
Commentary:
😂🍽️ "Guess I'm on an involuntary culinary treasure hunt now! Let the games begin! #LivingOnTakeout"
Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.
Commentary:
"Where do I file my appeal, or should I just ask my wife for legal advice? 😂👩⚖️📜"
I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.
Commentary:
"Your wife's dedication is unmatched! 🚗🎶 She won't let a driveway stop her from finding THE perfect song! 😄🙌"
Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”
Commentary:
"Sounds like you're just one culinary mystery away from a Michelin star! 😂🍽️🔍"
Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.
Commentary:
"Taking 'commitment issues' to a whole new level! 😂📚🔞"
Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic 'Mother’s Day breakfast surprise'—where the surprise is that she still has to make it! 😅🍳🌷"
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
Commentary:
"Looks like you got a warm reminder that you're #1! 😂🤗 #EmbracingMistakes #HugItOut"
Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, make your ex regret it! 🍋🔥😎 #GlowUp"
If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Commentary:
"When a tree falls in the forest, it makes a sound. When a husband speaks without his wife around… the sound is 'just kidding!'" 😅🌲🗣️