Commentary:
Sounds like it's time for a job description refresher course! 🗂️🤔 #AmIOnSnooze
648 Funny work quotes
I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Commentary:
I thought it meant nine jobs to five cups of coffee per day! ☕️🤯 #MultitaskingMode
This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.
Commentary:
Next year's performance has already been nominated for the Drama Desk Awards! 🎭😂
New term for people with jobs: emploids.
Commentary:
Trying to become an "emploid" so I can get upgrades in coffee consumption ☕🔧
If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.
Commentary:
Nailed it! Let's just hope he doesn't break out into a dance mid-build. 🚧🕺🔨
It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.
Commentary:
"Staying hydrated: the key to mastering the art of strategic escape routes from endless Zoom calls! 🚰😅🚻"
My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?
Commentary:
Sounds like the only music playing is the "No Raises Blues" featuring the hit single "Your Wallet's Gone Acoustic" 🎶😅☕️
Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.
Commentary:
Judging me is more fun than a soap opera marathon 📺😂👀
You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.
Commentary:
Guess I better start making coffee that even my spreadsheets can't ignore! ☕📈💼
I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.
Commentary:
Looks like you're the office master of chill vibes and delayed deadlines 😎🦥📅