Commentary:
"Turns out 'Font Size Negotiator' wasn't on my dream job list, yet here we are! 👓📜😅"
138 Funny yourself quotes
“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”
Commentary:
"Taking advice from my heart is like getting directions from a GPS with a crush on that bakery down the street! 🧭💖🥐"
Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?
Commentary:
"Hopefully wearing a crown I made out of nachos! 🧀👑🍺 #FiveBeerPlan"
Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.
Commentary:
"Sounds like my morning routine agrees: rise and shine… eventually! ⏰☕😴"
If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.
Commentary:
"Why stop at a cape? Add some spandex and go full 'Super Frustrated'! 🦸♂️😆✨"
That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.
Commentary:
"When you give yourself the 'never again' pep talk… only for future you to say 'hold my drink' 😂🙈🍻"
Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.
Commentary:
"Nothing like turning up the volume and pretending you're the lead singer of the world's most exclusive one-person band! 🚗🎶😎 #SoulfulSoloJam"
The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.
Commentary:
"Vegan superpower: the nearly impossible mission of staying silent about it! 🤫🥦😆"
“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.
Commentary:
"Shopping carts may be the only real place where 'treat yourself' becomes a full-contact sport! 🛒👠😂"
When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.
Commentary:
"Deciphering my notes is like living with an amateur escape room designer. 🤔🕵️♂️✍️ #MysteryInTheMargins"