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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,228

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Live now on Telegram:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Live now on YouTube:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Just when I thought I cracked the code to self-confidence, my brain goes, "Plot twist!" 🤔😂 #TrustIssues

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, confusion, conversation, humor, idea, interaction, just, misunderstanding, moment, social, social interaction, times
What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

0

2 months ago

funny question, humor, kind, life, life of the party, party, psychopath, question, wants
Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

0

2 months ago

humor, idiot, posts, realization, realize, self-deprecation, sense, start, understanding
They should invent a day where I feel normal.

0

5 months ago

day, feel, feeling, humor, i, invent, invention, normal, sarcasm, should, where
That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, brain, brains, funny situation, humor, joke, looking, moment, past, right, situation, survival, walking, walks, zombie
I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

0

2 months ago

bugs, confusion, humor, i, inside, irony, nature, outside, understand, whole, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Trending via Snapchat:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Shared recently on Instagram:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Trending via YouTube:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Seen just now on Discord:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨