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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Spotted on Messenger:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Seen just now on Discord:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Just shared via Telegram:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your life is a sitcom and every episode ends with a cliffhanger 😂🍿🌅

again, attention, beginning, ending, humor, i, me, morning, new, new beginning, pay, perspective, resilience, times, world, world ending

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

0

2 months ago

gratitude, guy, humor, inventor, joke, math, nothing, thanks, zero
I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad choice, being, choice, choices, crisis, existential, existential crisis, hell, humor, infinite, infinite loop, irony, just, life, life choice, loop, real, real hell, self-doubt, stuck, think
If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

0

4 months ago

attitude, bit, good, handle, humor, joke, jokes, me, missing, personality, relationship, worst
If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

0

2 months ago

being, bladder, feel, frustration, great, health, humor, hydrated, hydration, irony, pissed, thing
Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

0

2 months ago

anything, enough, fight, frustration, humor, i, irony, mad, myself, self, self-reflection, sometimes
When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

0

2 months ago

activity, artist, ask, funny activity, humor, i, music, repeat, repetition, song, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on X this month:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

29 shares on X this month:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Freshly posted on X:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Going viral on X:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Just shared via TikTok:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Live now on LinkedIn:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Seen just now on Slack:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Breaking via Pinterest:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Going viral on Threads:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Just shared via Discord:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨