Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,363

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Just shared via YouTube:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Going viral on Messenger:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Going viral on Messenger:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Live now on Snapchat:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Trending via WeChat:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dream goal: mastering the art of the purr-fect nap 😺💤 Zero stress, just whisker bliss!

14, animal, baby, cat, hours, humor, i, nap, regret, regrets, responsibility, rest, sleep, want, zero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

0

2 months ago

advice, baby, comparison, content, creation, easy, everyone, humor, media, not everyone, parenting, podcast, should, too
I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

0

2 months ago

daylight, humor, needs, saving, self
Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

0

2 months ago

adult, exhaustion, here, humor, over, request, responsibility, someone, tired, too
I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

0

2 months ago

argument, better, coast, culture, days, debate, east, East Coast, humor, i, miss, music, nostalgia, rap, west, West Coast
They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, education, humor, irony, pregnancy, still, teen, trauma, us, well
I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

0

2 months ago

A.I., AI, boyfriend, dating, humor, i, relationship, sorry, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

49 shares on Twitch this month:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Live now on Facebook:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Making waves on WeChat:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Just shared via Pinterest:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Shared recently on Twitch:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Just shared via TikTok:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨