I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

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I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

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“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

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They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

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Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

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You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

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“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.