Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs good vibes when you can offer bad ones with confidence? 😏 Embracing the chaos and imperfection like a pro! 🤪💥 #JustBeingReal"

bad, humor, i, irony, much, offer, self-deprecation, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

0

2 months ago

big, card, card game, cause, dollar, dollar signs, expression, eye, eye expression, eyes, gambling, game, good, good hand, hand, humor, i, player, poker, self-awareness, signs, turn
My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

0

2 months ago

airport, drop, family, getaway, humor, ideal, peace, quiet, relaxation, travel, vacation, week
Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

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2 months ago

activity, board, call, calls, fun, funny activity, ghost, ghosts, humor, ouija, Ouija Board, paranormal, paranormal humor, phone, phone call, spooky, spooky fun, unannounced, unannounced call
Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

0

2 months ago

boo, childish, fun, having, kid, parenthood, playtime, slime, turn
Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

0

2 months ago

4pm, activity, bedtime, close, debate, humor, i, need, night, riled, start, thing, time
Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

0

2 months ago

ability, algorithm, betterment, chance, humanity, only, people, please, post, psionic, psionic ability, show

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

81 shares on X this month:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

13 shares on X this month:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

63 shares on Twitch this month:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Going bananas on Messenger:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Breaking via X:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Just shared via Telegram:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Shared recently on TikTok:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Making waves on WeChat:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Just landed via Instagram:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Just shared via Reddit:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨