Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Spotted on YouTube:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Trending via Threads:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Shared recently on Slack:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Spotted on Instagram:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Going bananas on X:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Spotted on Pinterest:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dinner at 3 p.m., and I've just discovered the magic of early bird energy saving 😂🍽️🕒

3, afternoon, cook, day, dinner, grandma, humor, i, old fashioned, relaxation, rest, sit, used, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

0

2 months ago

day, early, humor, humor quote, i, lifestyle, morning, motivation, over, procrastination, start, waking, waking up
I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

0

2 months ago

am, box, clumsiness, graceful, head, humor, i, puppy, self-deprecation, stuck, transformation, used
I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

0

2 months ago

communication, honesty, humor, i, myself, phone, read, read receipt, receipt, self, technology, tell
I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

0

2 months ago

12, break, distraction, goodbye, humor, i, life, media, minutes, next, realization, social, social media, time
At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

0

2 months ago

chaos, cleaning, clutter, house, humor, mess, organization, point, sure
I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

0

4 months ago

actually, before, birthday, check, communication, expectation, happy, honesty, humor, i, interaction, me, memory, social, social interaction, tell, told

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

21 shares on Messenger this month:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Making waves on Telegram:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Going bananas on Discord:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Just landed via WeChat:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Trending via TikTok:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Live now on YouTube:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Just landed via X:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨