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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Making waves on Discord:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Going viral on Instagram:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Breaking via Twitch:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Witty quote about wishing to be a tree, playful and humorous text display.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Rooting for this kind of lifestyle 🌳😂! Life would be tree-mendously peaceful!

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Threads this month:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

82 shares on Slack this month:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

90 shares on Slack this month:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Ugh, but profoundly.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Making waves on Facebook:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Spotted on Instagram:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Trending via Messenger:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Going viral on Twitch:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Live now on LinkedIn:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

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