Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

293 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,562

Funny Quotes Topics

17,616

Funny Quotes Images

15,562

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Live now on Twitch:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Spotted on Slack:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

I would prefer not to.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When the universe asks for my energy levels on Monday mornings: 'I would prefer not to.'" 😴☕✨

humor, i, indifference, preference, procrastination, refusal

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

2 months ago

celebrity, hope, humor, i, joke, just, music, name, real, The Weeknd, Weeknd, wordplay
“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

2 months ago

body, day, eat, humor, lay, lay down, laziness, listen, okay, relaxation, self-care, snack, snacks, wants, well
Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

2 months ago

beverage, confidence, dominance, drinking, glass, humor, iced, iced tea, office, tea, wine, wine glass, work
You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

7 days ago

CIA, experiment, failed, humor, insult, result
What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

1 month ago

age, answering, around, curiosity, door, grow, home, house, humor, i, knocking, sneaking
Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

2 months ago

being, bilingual, both, comedy, communication, humor, languages, learning, means, stuttering

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on TikTok this month:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

13 shares on Discord this month:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Trending via Threads:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Just landed via TikTok:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Spotted on Slack:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Trending via Instagram:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Spotted on Slack:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I would prefer not to.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨