Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Just shared via Discord:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Making waves on Instagram:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

I would prefer not to.

3 weeks ago

Humorous text highlighting reluctant refusal with a witty, minimalist phrase.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When the universe asks for my energy levels on Monday mornings: 'I would prefer not to.'" 😴☕✨

humor, i, indifference, preference, procrastination, refusal

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

57 shares on Reddit this month:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

65 shares on X this month:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Spotted on Discord:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Going viral on Instagram:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I would prefer not to.

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I would prefer not to.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨