Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,414

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Making waves on Slack:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Shared recently on Facebook:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Just landed via WeChat:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Just shared via Threads:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time to strategize our pajama game plan—matching plaid or full-on reindeer print? 🛌🎄😂

before, card, Christmas, Christmas card, couple, flirting, gift, gift idea, holiday, holidays, humor, idea, matching, pajama, pajamas, relationship, romantic, start, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

0

2 months ago

apology, behavior, brain, humor, i, late, mental, mental state, plastic, sorry, state
Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

0

3 weeks ago

figure, figure skating, humor, i, ice, ice rink, joke, medalist, niche, niche sport, Olympic, Olympic medalist, rink, skating, sometimes, sport, sport joke, walk
Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

0

2 months ago

believe, diamond, Earth, hardest, hardest substance, head, humor, husband, people, reality, relationship, stubborn, substance
Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

0

2 months ago

80s, aging, communication, future, humor, media, social, social media, still, technology, tweet, tweeting, wait
Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

0

2 months ago

25, bliss, couple, happy, humor, husband, irony, love, marriage, relationship
I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

0

2 months ago

believe, communication, digital, digital life, email, emails, humor, i, life, message, something, technology, tell, trying, us

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

48 shares on Discord this month:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Live now on Snapchat:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Making waves on YouTube:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Just shared via Facebook:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Breaking via Messenger:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨