Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Trending via Threads:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Just landed via Twitch:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Breaking via Telegram:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Just landed via Reddit:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Just shared via Telegram:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs Elon when you've got your own cosmic Twitter vibes 🚀💫 Keep shining bright, darling! #TweetingBeforeElon"

before, deleting, Elon, here, humor, i, internet, loyalty, media, nostalgia, opinion, social, social media, statement, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

0

4 months ago

activity, birthday, cake, celebrate, celebration, day, eat, eating, fun, fun activity, party, stranger, together
Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

0

5 months ago

AI, before, cheating, education, effort, humor, learning, level, required, something, technology
Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

0

2 months ago

call, communication, compliment, dating, just, men, pretty, uncomfortable, why
Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, business, business day, day, delivery, humor, live, me, online, online shopping, procrastination, reason, reason to live, retail, retail therapy, shopping, therapy
If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

0

2 months ago

amusement, annoyance, annoyed, attitude, emotion, enter, figure, God, hack, humor, improvement, life, life hack, mindset, mode, motivation, much, positivity, pretty, self, self-improvement, state
Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

0

3 months ago

argument, arguments, dating, education, humor, misunderstanding, outside, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Making waves on Discord:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Trending via Snapchat:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Going viral on Threads:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Making waves on Twitch:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨