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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,539

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Spotted on TikTok:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Making waves on Messenger:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Seen just now on YouTube:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Seen just now on YouTube:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Seen just now on Instagram:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Broadcasted on X:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Breaking via Discord:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a budget planner when you can just wing it like a pro 😅💸 #FinancialAcrobat"

add, budgeting, expenses, finance, having, humor, i, irony, manage, management, money, money management, myself, pride, proud, self, self pride, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

0

2 weeks ago

companionship, fur, having, home, humor, imagine, pet, someone
“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

0

2 months ago

carefree, end, everything, excuse, going, heat, humor, joke, procrastination, season, seasonal, summer
My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, funny situation, humor, i, making, mobility, noise, over, people, run, screaming, screaming noise, situation, wheelchair
Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

0

2 months ago

activity, awkward, cowgirl, date, dating, first date, fun, fun activity, humor, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl
I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

0

2 months ago

film, humor, i, joke, memory, photographic, photographic memory, run, wit
What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

0

4 months ago

ankle, bite, biting, creature, humor, labubus, life, mythical, mythical creature, slang, southern, southern slang, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

98 shares on TikTok this month:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

17 shares on X this month:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

99 shares on Discord this month:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Spotted on YouTube:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Breaking via Telegram:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨