Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.