Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,229

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Just shared via TikTok:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Making waves on Twitch:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Just landed via Messenger:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Just landed via Discord:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Just landed via Reddit:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Going viral on WeChat:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Just shared via Discord:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you arm fat, make it a concert! 🎶💪😂

arm, arm fat, body, body positivity, confidence, fat, here, humor, imagine, just, me, over, playing, positivity, self-love

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

0

4 months ago

better, elegance, elegant, expression, gorgeous, horny, humor, language, need, sounds, vocabulary, word
Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

0

3 months ago

brain, brain damage, damage, humor, i, Instagram, Instagram Reel, media, original, original source, reel, social, social media, source, TikTok, watch
Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

0

2 months ago

attitude, comeback, compass, disrespect, humor, i, me, moral, moral compass, respond, response
The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

0

2 months ago

always, behavior, bite, call, cell, cell phone, communication, funny observation, hold, humor, i, observation, people, phone, quirky, quirky behavior, sandwich, take, think, trying
If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

0

2 months ago

accordingly, accordion, act, acting, better, communication, emoji, expectation, humor, i, means, start, text
Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

0

2 months ago

another, dating, fear, heartbreak, humor, love, pointless, relationship, sarcasm, scared, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on WeChat this month:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

11 shares on X this month:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

75 shares on Discord this month:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

65 shares on Threads this month:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Alexa, mute my children.

Broadcasted on X:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Going viral on X:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Seen just now on X:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Making waves on TikTok:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Just shared via YouTube:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Going viral on WeChat:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Live now on TikTok:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Living la vida taco!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨