Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,283

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Going viral on WeChat:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Going viral on Telegram:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Live now on Pinterest:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Just landed via Twitch:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

Freshly posted on X:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

3 weeks ago

Clever, humorous text about login frustration with a witty twist.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the only thing signing on is my patience! 😂🔑🔄

authentication, called, every, humor, IT, joke, login, password, sign-on, single, single sign-on, software, technology, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

42 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

36 shares on Threads this month:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

20 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Making waves on Reddit:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Just landed via Facebook:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Spotted on Twitch:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Trending via Pinterest:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Making waves on Threads:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨