Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Been getting really into nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Just shared via Discord:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Spotted on Discord:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Spotted on Messenger:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Going viral on Reddit:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

15 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Clever, humorous text about login frustration with a witty twist.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the only thing signing on is my patience! 😂🔑🔄

authentication, called, every, humor, IT, joke, login, password, sign-on, single, single sign-on, software, technology, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

72 shares on X this month:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

29 shares on Discord this month:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

30 shares on X this month:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Just landed via Instagram:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Making waves on Threads:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Trending via Threads:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Making waves on Telegram:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Just landed via YouTube:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Keep the laugh going 😂

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨