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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’m just trying to have a nice time despite knowing facts and information.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Going viral on Instagram:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Making waves on YouTube:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Live now on Reddit:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Spotted on Instagram:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

0
It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like they've mastered the ancient art of "nap-fu"—peace and alone time conquer all! 💤🏡😆

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,232

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Breaking via YouTube:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

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