Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Trending via Pinterest:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Live now on Threads:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Just shared via Threads:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Just shared via Facebook:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Spotted on YouTube:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Spotted on Facebook:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I've always been a fan of motherly advice, especially when it involves naps! 😴👩‍👦

bad, bad habit, habit, habits, humor, laziness, mother, respect, should

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

0

2 months ago

back, before, bring, button, experience, feature, feature request, humor, i, just, media, needs, read, refresh, refreshed, request, social, social media, starting, technology, tweet, Twitter, user, user experience
I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

0

2 months ago

activity, bike, childhood, device, fun, fun activity, i, kid, memory, mobile, mobile device, nostalgia, outdoor, outdoor play, play, remember
As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

0

4 months ago

entertainment, forgive, humor, low, low self-esteem, man, men, need, self-esteem, woman, yourself
I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

0

5 months ago

attitude, defiance, humor, i, illusion, pieces, shattering, smash, smashing, want
No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

0

2 months ago

always, cravings, eat, food, humor, matter, much, polynesian, Polynesian food, Samoa, want
Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulting, being, chores, fitted, fitted sheet, folding, frustration, humor, irony, life, life skills, responsibility, sheet, skills

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

55 shares on X this month:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Breaking via Discord:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Live now on WeChat:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Just landed via Reddit:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Trending via Messenger:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Breaking via Slack:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Broadcasted on X:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨