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Commentary:
"Lesson learned: never cut corners when it comes to hitmen. 💸💥 Better to invest in quality work and avoid those budget-friendly deals! 😅 #HitmanFail"

age, hiring, hitman, men, regret

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

0

2 months ago

adult, argument, conflict, fighting, internet, maybe, online, online conflict, people, stop, time
I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

0

2 months ago

actually, affection, compliment, flirting, humor, i, ID, learn, much, number, phone, phone number
The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

0

3 days ago

2017, delayed, delayed delivery, delivery, Etsy, humor, i, online, online shopping, patience, purchase, shipping, shopping, thing
I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

0

2 months ago

bees, comedy, fear, girl, humor, i, irrational, movy, My Girl, rational, saw
Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

0

2 months ago

activity, family, family outing, fun, fun activity, irony, kids, outing, phones, planetarium, take, technology, watch, YouTube
Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

0

6 months ago

2022, before, ChatGPT, chopper, comparison, entry-level, entry-level job, getting, humor, impact, job, job market, last, last chopper, market, realize, release, taking, technology, technology impact, Vietnam

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

12 shares on Slack this month:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Just landed via Messenger:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Making waves on YouTube:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Just shared via Threads:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Making waves on Snapchat:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨