Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,376

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Broadcasted on X:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Spreading quickly via X:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Trending via Pinterest:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Trending via Twitch:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Live now on WeChat:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When someone communicates with memes, you're basically getting a PhD in hilarity 😂🎓 #MemeWisdom

communication, culture, form, humor, information, internet, internet culture, meme, memes, most

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

0

2 months ago

activity, after, cooking, dishwashing, drunk, host, humor, kind, same, show
Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

0

3 weeks ago

30s, compliment, congrats, dating, decision making, humor, panic, person, pick, relationship, should, unmarried, wrong
Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

0

2 months ago

aging, enjoy, fatter, going, humor, life, older, only, perspective
I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

0

2 months ago

end, get it together, going, humor, i, irony, pissed, real, shit, together, world
I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

0

2 months ago

analogy, anxious, back, deep, depth, humor, i, inside, layers, myself, onion, peel, personality, self-perception, smaller, think
My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

0

2 months ago

calm, conversation, humor, idiots, patience, staying, superpower, talking, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Trending via Slack:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Just shared via Messenger:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Trending via Threads:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Just shared via Messenger:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Just shared via Reddit:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨